CAUGHT HIM IN HIS LIE!

[abbey1989]

Awkward afternoon yesterday. After H called after being at OW's seminar, I bolted. went to the beach for 2 hrs. Didn't bring cell. He called so many times. I must have missed at least 25 calls. He was working on son's bike when I got home. He said "I thought we were going to do that together" but I didn't want to be with him at that moment. Then....I was watching a movie at home and he put a blanket on me (nice) and I suggested we go to a movie. We ended up seeing "Carnage" his choice. Wouldn't recommend movie. Intense.

I completely backslided this a.m. when he was leaving for the gym (still dark) and I said lets snuggle/sex....the gym can wait......etc....obviously he was not interested and he left for the gym. Why do I do this after I know he is cheating?! Serious lack of self confidence.

Anyway...after these last few years, just want to be held. Nothing more. Want to feel secure. So trying not to be needy but all I want is to be wanted. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!