Yes, it's winter here on the Canadian prairies. Not there yet but the summers here actually rock! We have a lot of lakes around so at that time hot beach life takes over.
Yes, lately we've had some warmer spells where it hits 40 F for a while. Global warming? After that, back down to normal, 0 to even - 35 F sometimes. No exaggerations, no windchill adjustment. (Even other Canadians don't always favour our climate.)
What do you do when it gets that cold? Get mad or angry at the situation? Heck no! First and foremost if you live here that's the situation when winter hits. You keep physically active and occupied. If you take the time to make it, winter here can be wonderful! Wouldn't trade it. The arts community here is very active, more so in the winter. (Yes, I've travelled around and experienced warm climates. Even lived in south Louisiana for 2 years.)
However, if you start gazing at your navel and doing nothing in this winter, well, life's not going to be what it can be. I actually got reminded of this in my separation. Found out that I needed to be attentive to this winter so that I don't 'exaggerate' the marital situation I was already going through. Why make it worse than it needs to be? At that, how many of us add difficulties to our situations that don't need to be there, really? Indeed, from time to time it probably couldn't hurt if we each make a short list and cross out anything that doesn't need to be there. For sure, when needed we also need to add what does need to be in this list.
Hope you don't mind if I continue on this P, but one of the things on my short list is a winter Bbq. Back when I was going through my 'stuff' I heard of other folks doing that here. Even when it got...'cold.' Figured I'd give that a try. Turned out to be way more fun than I'd thought it'd be. It's become a winter staple now. Sure, it gets cold here but everybody dresses up. Get the fire going. Pump out the music. Get the lights going, a great cuisine and a bit o' wine. It can be a lot of fun with friends and family. (Not only that, it's a good way to stick it to ol' man winter. Got smoked lamb and/or duck and shark planned for this winter's fair.)
On another note, I was looking through your post and I see that your W is happy with your changes. You communicate better. Cracks of sunlight is peeking through. However, what I really like is that whatever you're doing you sound upbeat and positive. Sounds like you're really getting the baseline covered. That baseline would be you. Keep it up!
When we do this DB thing many of us, at times, end up wanting quick tricks to short cut through things so we can get the prize and be done with this insanity. No, this has to work itself through. We can't push our WAS. When we do they recoil.
Each of us needs to aspire to sort ourselves out and continue to work towards establishing happiness and contentment within ourselves. That is the real gem. If and when we fall short, we have to stop and take stock. Do our best to fix it then carry on.
Certainly, as long as the WAS is not off on a real bizarre tangent the stuff above will be attractive to them. They will come checking us out. However, the real icing on the cake comes in having a cool head and being able to work through stuff they do bring up with us. One by one.
P, your W wants a D to signify an end to the previous M so another R with you can be started? Fine, that's a step up from before. Keep it up, sounds like you're on the right track,
Coyote
PS> Have you considered a winter Bbq also? Just a thought.
I haven't posted much in the last seven years. I've been a lurker. Just lookin' to put back all the good help I've gotten...
