You have had some terrific advice - and none of it conflicting. rather offering some different perspectives and emphasis.
On a personal note, I got sucked back slightly into my xh's drama, and it is sooo easy to do this. They are such drama queens, and as well trained St Bernard dogs we tend to want to DO something instead of just going on being.
i had a real light bulb moment last night as i was peacefully pottering around my sitting room, of great acceptance of myself, the situation as it is, and my centredness. Interaction with crazy xh was threatening to destablise this, and it was me that was allowing it. And then I thought, he is no longer a very nice person. Not simply the way in which he dumped me, but self obsessed, and generally difficult and not much fun any more. Why on earth would I want someone like that in my life when I don't have to?
Call it acceptance, or detachment . . . and it isn't because I have met someone new to 'replace' my xh. I live alone, have a full life, a little lonely at times, but that is becoming less and less of an issue. Moving from a close family, and loving husband with all the kids at home to an empty nest and departed husband takes some adjusting to! It is my choice, not anyone else's fault.
With this detachment and acceptance is a loss of anger. There is still recognition that what he did was horrible, but I don't need to hang on to that feeling. Getting your heart to where your head it takes an awfully long time!
I am sure that I will feel rage and sadness from time to time, but I can see tose emotons for what they are, and acknowledge them and let them go. Everyone is right, they affect no-one but us.
