W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[Snowman]

Thanks for all your replies they are very helpful. I just had dinner with my W's brother and wife. It was an enjoyable time and I miss hanging out with them but they didn't have anything good to say about my W. She continues to drink, party, spend money, and live with no cares in the world. I will say if I have not said this before about my W's family is that alcoholism runs in the family and I have seen it first hand. Her Grandma literally drinks herself to sleep every night. Her father drinks everyday and is an angry drunk that struggles to keep a job. Her brother in another state is a violent drunk that was recently thrown in jail for an altercation that happen with his girlfriend and now their is my W that is on the same path. My W seems to only care about when she is going to drink, party, or go on a trip. I have very low tolerance for drinking as I have seen it cause many bad things in the lives of the people around me. My mother had a father who was a drunk that beat her mother for many years. I had a good neighbor who was hit by a drunk driver and was nearly killed and is now not fully functional. I had a friend OD with alcohol and pills. I had another neighbor who was only in high school and was killed by a drunk driver. I guess I could go on but you get my point, I have little tolerance for it. To see my W who use to talk bad about her own father for drinking and is now the only family member she talks to is just plan weird. I do have the expectation that she give that crap up. If she chooses to do it then I don't want to be with her there is no budging on that.

She made the comment to her brother in conversation about their other brother that just got a girl pregnant that she is too young to have a kid which is a complete surprise to all as my W use to love kids, was a nanny, always wanted to be a stay home mom, and was talking about having another kid before all this happened. Is this a MLC or what?

Mr. Bond. I have only had a few R talks with my W this whole time. I will admit that at times I have pressured to understand or get an answer but I have not been arrogant with her and I feel that your judgement in that regard is wrong. I'm not really sure how I have had the choice to lead her if she has shut me and others out of her life. I have judged her in my mind but I have not passed my judgement on her the few times we have talked.

Her solution to the problem is divorcing me as she then doesn't have to address the problem. I want a solution and have tried to present paths to finding a solution but she doesn't want to take that path. I can't force her, coerce her, or otherwise make changes to get her there as I know can't control anyone but me. How do I go around a communication problem?

She filed D on me and lies about it, she kicks me off her insurance and doesn't tell me, she books a trip that I will have to watch my S for 2 weeks and she fails to tell me about it, she lies about what she is doing when we were suppose to talk, and on on. This is what I would call games.

I know it is my decision to be happy and that nothing makes you feel happy, crap I said that to my W myself. I decide to be happy no matter what she does. She has a wall up that no one can penetrate. Not through changes, communication, or any other form of interaction. I have knocked at the door but only she can let me in. I'm not saying I have done it perfect in my approach every time but I don't claim to be perfect although I feel like I do have to be to meet Mr. Bonds expectations.

It is sad when her own Mom and family doesn't want her to have custody because of her behavior. I don't make this stuff up for fun or something as it is far from it. I would like to have my W back to somewhat the person I know but she has chosen another path that I will not follow.

I have tried to not have expectations but I know I do as I guess thats just my human nature. I have done the best I can and I continue to do so. I will not ask for the D papers but if she gives them to me I'm not going to roll over and be a doormat in that process because my S is more important to me than all the other stuff and I have tried to do whats best for him by keeping the marriage together but if it does go apart I have to do whats best for us.