That all sounds cr@p, I'm so sorry. I hope you are on the mend.
I don't want you to feel in my post that I am undermining the gabe issue but I know that you know what to do with this one. You know all the db techniques and if you choose to use them I know you will do an awesome job.
I want to talk about you and the huge emotional rollercoaster that you put yourself through, whether it be with gabe's actions or your self esteem. I know what it's like and I hate to see you go through it because it is exhausting for you. The thing is, it is hard to deal with because it is a personal thing we go through and something we can't show to the world. The thing is, that whatever the issue that sends you on it, you have to learn to recognise the signs so you can get off it before it takes over because it does a person no good mentally and it takes it's toll physically and it is not a happy way to live your life.
Once you have that under control you will be in a stronger place to deal with what life throws at you. Often it is the fear in precipitation that is worse than the thing itself. Look, you are a grown woman and you are quite able to make decisions (like whether or not to smoke etc by yourself- and I say that as a non smoker who hates it). If you want to smoke, come here to talk about your feelings then this is a safe place to do so. But recognise what is healthy for you and what sends you on that emotional rollercoaster. I often find that personally when I post here about stuff then i am on that rollercoaster.
You know we all love you here and want to help. But once you find that point of strength, and everybody has it no matter who they are, then you will be in a better place to handle life's curve balls. But give yourself a break and don't be hard on yourself.
If gabe is starting down that line again then you need to come from a place of strength, for Marc and you. And mish, I know you won't believe me when I say it, but you are one of the strongest on here.
Sending you love J
P.s- saw a pic of you in the alt the other day and I thought how lovely you were looking. Sorry about typos and grammar, it is hard to type on an iPod!
