How do you let go? Calling it quits.

[hope2011]

Busy week here. I have been GAF and focusing on my job a lot and had 3 great accomplishments this week. I am very respected in my field, but H doesnt see that at all. i get my self esteem and self worth from my work rather than a family. Not how i planned my life at all.

H and i have gotten along well this week. he has taken me out to eat twice, opened dors, complimented me.

I have worked hard to not say anything negative to him. Got a new haircut, which he has complimented several times and said i dont look like the same person. ???? I got my nails done too, which isnt something i splurge on but for occassions. That surprised H. I has a photo shoot for a magazine article on my work so that was the main reason for it all. I sent H some of the photos, just professional office shots. All this has gotten him entrigued and i think he is wondering if there is someone else. Good! Let him wonder. I also have had a lot of meetings and deadlines so he hasnt got my focus. GAF is working.

Counseling started yesterday. I went alone. Next week H goes alone. We each have separate sessions once a week for 3 weeks before joint sessions. I think this work out better to work on seperate issues first rather than start off together complaining about our issues. I like the therapist. She is female, hoping H isnt too sexist to not open up. There are only 2 male therapists in town, 1the old horrible one, 1 with no openings for 3 months. She thinks i have caretaker issues. No surprise there. Shes solution based and a Christian and i feel comfortable with her. Regardless of H i do need to work on my issues, setting boundaries, rebuilding my self esteem.

Hopefully on the right track.