You will be off moderation soon, keep posting and the delay will be gone. Your H is having an emotional or physical affair -- his behavior, what he is saying and what he is doing are all script -- virtually everyone who is betraying their spouse says and does the exact same things.
Why do I point this out? Because its important that you understand it's not about you -- you didn't have to do anything wrong for this to happen. H got involved with flirting and that made him feel good. He knows it's wrong, but that feeling can be as addictive as drugs or alcohol, right now he's an addict. That feeling also has chemically altered his brain (seriously) and diminished his capacity for rational decision making. We are wired to let our guard down and not think clearly to facilitate bonding.
While he's under this spell, pursuing him, begging pleading or shaming will push him farther away and reinforce his decision that leaving is the right thing to do. Ironically, if you want him back, you need to give him space and do your own thing. You need to develop some mystery. He needs to wonder what you're up to, and he will if you give him time and don't volunteer it.
Read DB, it will be very helpful. I also suggest "Love Must Be Tough" by Dobson for your sitch. It's dated and very religious, but I'd that's not your thing (and it's not mine) there is still some very good advice to be found.
Finally, I strongly recommend working with a DB coach on this site. I worked with Cheryl and she was great. Money very well spent.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
