I am posting again because I'm a newbie (though I have been lurking on the boards trying to learn from others' situations). I am 32 and my W is 29 and we do not have kids. As you can see by my post above, I have not done a great job DB (i.e., went dark, but effectively told my W that I was going dark first and not to contact me), trying to provide some fear in her that I wouldn't be around for her to contact on a whim. She dropped the bomb in July and I have just been trying to buy time hoping she'd reconsider. The issue is that there is an OM that I know at the very least she was having an EA with, possible PA. I thought if I could buy enough time, it would run its course and she might reconsider.
I am still trying to detach, but while letting her know how I feel (i.e., I have learned a lot and am working on myself, I would like to work on the marriage, but I will respect her wishes). The issue is that her wishes are for her to file and to get a court date ASAP. I of course do not want this, but how does one balance trying to go dark/detach when she is asking me to move things forward and I do not want to? I effectively need to disagree with her or try to make something up, which she reacts very negatively to.
If I go dark, her L will call my L and ask what's going on.
I am mentally prepared that there is no hope left, but just wondering if there is any way to slow this down without making it seem like I'm trying to disagree with her decision. Also, we do not live together and have no kids so there is really nothing that is holding us together where I can show her my changes or 180s.
Any suggestions at this point would be very very much appreciated. Thank you.
