We are not here to be entertained, so please do not worry about boring anyone with details.
I am sorry if you think my post was made out of anything but concern for you and your sitch. I just hate to you see you torturing yourself, because I know what it is like to do so.
My marriage is over, but I did learn a lot and would handle many things differently if given the opportunity.
We have a saying in Al-Anon... "take what you like and leave the rest".
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011