Enough with the lies - what is going on???

[greatwhitenorth]

I'm pretty sure my H is depressed too. He never, ever, ever talked about his past. "It's in the past. It doesn't matter" he'd always say. Closed up tight as a drum. I've learned (from his daughter) since we split what really happened when he and his first wife split. I've also learned from her about other choices he's made in past relationships. H is a major conflict avoider, to the point I know now that he functioned as if he had no autonomy...not by anything I did...and then he'd resent. All very complicated. At any rate he's got to work all this out for himself. I love him dearly but there's nothing I could have done to change this situation, and nothing I can do to fix him...he has to make that choice for himself. Very hard to just let it go but it's all we have at times.