Too Little, Too late. 2

[ces67]

Sorry Purg, what an awful day for you. I'll share what I've seen others on this board say....there's another side to all this. It doesn't take away the pain, but the presence of the pain doesn't mean you're weak. Hang on and take care of you.

"Maybe I'm meaner than I need to be sometimes, but I don't want to ever give you the impression that there's a chance for us in the future."

This very much like what my W has said to me several times. It hurts. Its been helpful to hear what people on this board have said about "don't believe everything you hear and only about 50% of what you see" (or something like that...still a noob to the board)

For me, its so easy to fall into focusing on my W's choices, behaviors and activities and then allowing all that to bring me down. Its overwhelming sometimes. I hope you can focus on you. His choices don't define you. Its very hard to do, but work on taking your mind off of him and focus it on what you need to do for yourself. Take the beach house if you need to and relax. If he's offering stuff, get a plane ticket and go somewhere of your choice to collect yourself.

I'll leave it to the pro's around here for the really good advice. Just know that somewhere in you is the strength to get through this.

The hard reality of life is there are battles to fight. Most of the hardest seem to take place in our hearts and heads. We have to fight to keep them whole and healthy and able to love. Its not easy. But I have to believe it worth it. I hope you can start picturing a day that you can forgive your H; Not to dismiss his wrongs but to free yourself of the weight of his choices. I can see glimpses of that freedom for myself and I do believe its worth fighting for. You've got a hard road ahead. I wish it were easier for you, but I do believe you can make it.