Harrier: This is a wise thing to remember. I have always felt convinced that I have had OCD because it is the only disorder that seems to fit my symptoms. Most definitely get it diagnosed. I can think of 2 other disorders that fit your symptoms but don't want to say them here. But they are treatable. You don't have to deal with this on your own and hope you find your way through it. Given the risk you take and what you could lose again, I'd for sure get it diagnosed and professionally treated.
25: I understand how you feel. I want you to know that I didn't intend to mislead any of you about myself or my W; I really did disclose the nature of my "behavior" several threads back. I understand that as a resident DB vet, you visit a lot of different threads and may be apt to miss stuff like that, as our threads are usually jam-packed.
indeed, I am sure I did miss it b/c I would have known that it bore restating to remind those who did know. It is a bigger chunk of your marriages's issues than you seem to be suggesting recently and had I known this piece of the puzzle or had you brought it up again, I would have said so.
I appreciate that you're taking the time at all to address mine, as you are full of great advice.
I think that you are right to keep my side of the M's downfall and her A behavior very much in mind. Do I think that I "taught" her the comparison stuff, and that her explicit disclosures may be directly-related? I do, now that you say it so clearly. I never meant to hurt my W so badly, but I did, and now I must deal with the consequences of it. If our M can never be repaired, I will understand. I will be sure to keep such behavior from reappearing in a future R -- count on it. I'm not going back down that terrible road.
good-then get professional help for that specific behavior b/c there are NO women I know who would not be hurt by that, and if you ever remarry you need to find better ways to handle this or rid yourself of it.
However, I'd like to know if I'm doing the right thing by going dark on her now. I feel that I am -- comparison behavior or not, I don't agree with being "there for her" during her A. Both of us have our respective demons to exorcise, and neither of us will get there without letting each other go.
agreed ^^^
Also, it must be heavily considered: if I was really such a hurtful monster in our R...how much sense does it make that W is still trying to seek me out and rely on me for her emotional needs, rather than OM? (It doesn't make much sense to me, personally.)
a) mind reading and b) co-dependent/mutually shared issues,
and c) why does it matter now?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
