Wife Left Part 3

[CO1978]

This is about how you dealing with OCD/controlling behaviors.

So answer me this...

How are you working to change those patterns ?

Good question. I was told I was very controlling on money, and my OCD issues on little things as loading the dishwasher to refilling ice trays.

I was very picky with the money asking for receipts for everything, so I could categorize everything on Microsoft money.

I still use Microsoft money, but I cut the number of categories down from like 100 to about 30.

The dishwasher, that thing is still fighting me a bit, but I will defeat it. I now load it different every time. Some times I have to catch myself loading it "the right way", and I move stuff around. As I said its sinking in that there is no right way!

I also read somewhere that just changing the route you drive to work could help change your entire day. I may try that.

Routines are great, but a routine for everything, a schedule for everything, itinerary for everything is not normal, and I see that now and am breaking those habits by just not doing them. Spontaneous is sometimes good!

It is strange how OCD and perfectionism made me such a great Marine, but hurt my marriage.

The other day when my W and I had a long talk we discussed my perfectionist attitude. We talked about loading the dishwasher or refilling the ice trays. We laughed and when told her there is no right way, I can't believe I got upset about those things.

Something I realized was:

*Everybody has their own view of perfection, there is no true perfection, don’t expect perfection.

*Do set agreements on standards with each other

*Share housework (do it together) so you both know each other’s standards

*ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

I am not saying I am cured from my OCD, but I am on the right track. That is why I keep recommending the book "The Four Agreements" to everyone, it truly changed my life.

Mach1 keep coming at me I like this, and need a slap every now and then.