No, you were not 100% to blame. Let's face it, you were gripped by a disease, one that is difficult for people to understand. Especially because it didn't take the most "classic" form of handwashing or tapping, instead taking the less common form of compulsive confessing. (Some people with that form confess to crimes they didn't commit, etc.)
And your wife was particularly vulnerable to the painful effects because of her own insecurities.
You've owned your part, and you're mature enough to realize that she just might not be able to get over the pain that caused her. That's an adult response.
I think what all of us here see, is that she, in her pain and affair craziness, has been particularly brutal to you in return - deliberately so. And that her response has been very IMmature.
A mature W might say "Honey, I accept that your OCD was the reason why you said those hurtful things to me, but I just really don't want to stay in this marriage because it's too painful for me". A mature W would NOT be deliberately rubbing your nose in her affair, etc.
