I went out tonight. I got dressed up as if I was going on a date, and dropped off the kids with H. He didn't say anything, but he looked at me questioningly and had a hard time listening to what I was telling him. I furthered the mystery by staying out until midnight (I just went to a late movie to kill time)... I've never done this since I've been a mom. I half way expected H to text me at some point out of concern, but he never did. He left the door unlocked for me and left a few lights on in the house, so at least he noticed that I was gone.
It's a sad realization that someone isn't worried about me at home. I don't belong to anyone anymore. I couldn't even call my BFF to tell her about the movie or pout about H not texting me.
I feel really lonely tonight.
Even worse, I have 6 hours of tests that include 5 blood draws and 2 radioactive injections- I HATE needles! Normally, H would be by my side making me laugh and keeping me distracted, but not tomorrow. I will be alone for everything. THe procedures are scary as individuals, but having to be poked and touched by so many doctors tomorrow is nerve racking. Not to mention the anxiety of knowing what my possible diagnosis could be (a 10-20 year life expectancy)... I really wish I had a friend tomorrow.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12