I really appreciate your input. I agree that there has to be OW that he's connected to on some level. About a month ago, I found out he was getting FB messages from a female co-worker. I got mad, confronted him, he ended up admitting that she "gets" him, but they are just friends. I don't know how much damage has been done by confronting him then. Since then, he's been careful not to use the home computer for FB so that I couldn't see the history. So I don't know if this is still the same person he's communicating with, another person from FB, or maybe several? The thought alone just kills me, and the fact that he "talks" to OW in front of me is a big slap in the face. I could be imagining things, but my gut is telling me something and you really should listen to your gut.
"The thing is, once you've made these points clear *once* you don't get another chance. If he's not deaf, he heard you so repetition is not necessary and in fact, it's counter-productive." H is the one who keeps bringing up R talk and blames me for everything, etc. I keep consistent with my responses by telling him I disagree. He then keeps asking "why" over and over. He does that with any feeling I might have that he disagrees with.
"From there you literally need to set him free and hope he comes back and that is the very hardest thing in the world to do but is really the only thing that might work." This is the hardest thing to do. And while I think I'm starting to get to the point where I'm accepting the fact that he may not be around for too much longer, starting to think how to take care of myself and S, etc, I'm just trying to be careful that I don't detach myself too far so that in the event he does want to have a future together that I would still want to - that I would "take him back" and forgive. What if he takes too long and I move on? That scares me.
