I will try to stick to that style of language, it's just going to be a little tricky. Notwithstanding, onward I march.
So I have an initial hearing on this coming Wednesday and had to spend an hour and a half with my L doing paperwork. I so don't want this. It was all about division of property and how much I will have to start paying her every month. I am going to get slaughtered and have to stop contributing to my 401K just to keep above water. I received a copy of her proposal statement from her L. I wish she would just walk away from all of this. I am just drained emotionally these days. In my heart I feel as though there is enough between us and such a strong desire to be with our S that we can work through all of the things that are issues.
I am doing my best to stay strong, but when the legal process continues to drive on, and when I have to start writing checks and surrendering my retirement, I start to get really, really depressed.
I would give anything just to have it stop. I hope I am not so far removed from her heart that it is too late. I still love her tremendously, I love my son tremendously. I am not ready to give up, but I feel so discouraged when the legal crap comes up.
