Forward, slow as she goes

[BeingMe]

Braveheart - I've not been standing (in my mind) since my H moved out of our bedroom and I eventually redecorated it ... that was summer last year, I think. I had hope, but don't most of us carry that around, tucked away somewhere, realized or not.

Beatrice - my youngest children are D19 and S24, so grown-up, but still at home. My other two children D24 (son's twin) and D31 have been out the house for a long time. So, yes, discussed and brainstormed with them. S24 knows what's happening to a certain degree ... obviously not everything. I'm not sure if they want me to go back to PCOR (previous city of residence), but they do understand the draw = grandchildren. And, they want me to be happy.

I think one of your posters got it when they were discussing addictions. I think that's my H's problem. He's addicted to his career. I used to enable this by moving around chasing after the perfect job, but I have stopped, and now I can see things more clearly. "I will move when I decide to move, and not when he wants," has been my thinking for sometime. So, future plans don't take him into consideration, unless it has to.

I've been looking at the university in the PCOR. I will not be able to use too many of the courses I gained here. So, I have to make a decision; finish here, or lose those courses. I have an emotional investment in those courses .... it got me through my brain cancer, which was discovered at the beginning of my uni classes in 2008.

Okay ... brainstorming here ... maybe I should buy a downtown apartment in PCOR and rent it out to business people, then I will have a place to stay in the summer and Christmas time, until I finish my degree here. Then I can use the revenue of the apartment to finance a new house/apartment/townhouse there. Of course, I will have to sell the house here at that time. The only negative ... I will have to buy that apartment with H. We have discussed this, but he knows I don't want to. I should rethink this. It will be like a business, but also a place to stay without the expense of a hotel, or staying with friends/family.

Gah! My head spins. Thank goodness, I have time.