Rebuilding myself from the ground- up

[PEI]

Sorry PEI but i desagree!

I figured you would.

My focus is not always on him! I was sharing my story.

Really? 'Cause from where I'm reading it sounds like his story from your perspective. Your story should have a lot more YOU in it.

I know who i am and i know i can't change someone else.
I am conducting myself with pride, with self-respect and WORKING on my self-esteem.
I am comming to terms with this. I have no desire to expose myself to this kind of pain anymore.

Pain caused by him or pain caused by you?

I get angry and resentful when i have to become SUPER-WOMEN!

Sh*t girl! Join the club ... I used to be the president!

I am working on my parenting skills as we speak. I am working on a plan that would deligate appropriate responsabilities to each of my kids.
The impact of XH MLC has got me to let go of everyday routines and responsabilities. Once you let kids get away with things, little by little, it is hard to get them back on track. We are making progress.

Good. It'll be good for them, and good for you.

I will post about ME and my progress and how i got where i am instead. I see what you mean. When i reread my posts, it sounds like XH's MLC is all i think about but it is not so. I am living a full life when i'm not posting. I have friends i see everyday,i work and i have my 4 kiddos. I am very positive, wich doesn't come through on this site. I usually post to get stuff off my chest or to vent my anger but there is more to life then this.

I'm glad you see it. E2B, I was very positive on the outside ... some of my friends and family didn't know what was going on below the surface at all. I GAL'd like a pro, took care of business and met most of my responsibilities. To the outside world I'm sure I looked fine. Underneath ... I was still broken. I still noticed every little thing, even if I said I wasn't. I still wondered where he was and who he was with, even if I said I wasn't. I still wanted him to "come to his senses" ... you guessed it, even if I said I wasn't. Detaching isn't a physical act, it's an emotional state.

Peace
PEI