I've been following your thread for a while, because my sitch is somewhat similar (cake-eating hubby). I need to sit down and write about it, but in the meantime, I think the two responses to your 12/24 post were a little harsh. because I know where you're coming from, being there myself.
if we could choose, of course we would want our H's to be faithful. we are not "ok with" the current situation. but on the other hand, we don't want to lose the little that we have. there are people on this forum whose spouses have left them and gone to live with the OP, and they write at length trying to find a way to get the WAS back home. at least our H's haven't left home and are still involved with us and our kids.
but, how can we get them to leave the OW? when we confront them with evidence, they lie and deny. we hesitate to use LRT because that can backfire and make things worse than they are now.
so I don't have an answer for you about how to move things in the *right* direction. maybe someone on this forum can suggest something practical.
but criticizing us because there is "no movement" is counterproductive. sure we want "movement" but we don't want to "move" our H right into the arms of OW.
and I don't think that your H is getting the impression that the current situation "is okay with you" just because you haven't thrown him out. I think that what you told him on 12/24 now has him looking over his shoulder a little more. yes, he knows that you know, despite his denials, and he knows it is *not* okay with you. that's a start.
