Informally separated from WAW, but DBing my best

[AlwaysTrying]

My wife isn't interested in couples/marriage counseling. "Reconciliation is not my goal".

Over the last few weeks, I have gotten her to come to my IC sessions. My IC therapist is actually a lot better than our original marriage counselor, and has helped W and me communicate on a few occassions.

W came with me yesterday again, and despite a rough patch over the last several days, it seemed like we were making progress. The issue that she's been throwing at me lately, when we try to talk about anything at all is how "nothing matters" because I think she is immoral for what she is doing. That I am so opposed to the idea of divorce that there are no possible reasons to justify it. I figured I was just looking at re-runs of her all or nothing thinking and deflection. Sometimes I think that when things seem to be getting better, some level of her mind is saying "Oh, crap! Not this again. I have to sabotage this somehow!".

Maybe I need to find a way to deal with this thinking even if it is a deflection, but I'm starting to think that it's an honest issue that I have to hear her about and try to find someway of talking about it, even though we both get really upset when we try to talk about anything in that emotional neighborhood.

Well, it looks like my wife will be coming to more counseling with me, so that will be good.

I bought a 3-pack over-the-phone help session with one of Michelle's consultants. Lori or Laurie. I've talked to her twice. I've been saving my last session for a time when I really need it.

I was thinking of maybe having my wife get on the phone with me, even though she's not ready to say that reconciliation is her goal or that she wants to go to couples counseling.

Is that a good idea?