I've been acting As-if for a very long time now. In my case, I don't act as-if I don't care for my W. The way I look at it, I'm acting as-if it's OK that she doesn't care about me.
On the 180 front, I'm doing as much housework, yard work, caring for our autistic son, etc. that I possibly can (given that I'm the major bread winner in our family).
Bearing my background in mind, I have the following observations for you...
Keeping his house "ship-shape", just so that there is no reason for him to yell at you, and also to "take his lead. If he seems bi*tchy... to make myself scares." may not exactly be acting as-if you don't care, but it does fulfil the idea of acting as-if it's OK that he doesn't care about you. At the same time you're not pushing his buttons. I think that's good.
I don't think it'll come off as fake and condecending, but of course, it all depends on his perception. You can't do anything about that.
As for moving to the spare room, and redecorating a little, maybe it'll also show your independence. I had a friend whose W moved out of their bedroom. She didn't like it at all when he redecorated the bedroom. But hey. She moved out right? It kinda brought home the fact that he was adapting to her decisions.
I think the bottom line is that you can't stop him from thinking that you're 'trying to prove a point' at this time. If he interprets it that way, so be it. Over the long haul, he'll have the opportunity to change his perception.
