You make a very valid point - and in a more perfect setting and set of circumstances I think that a face to face talk would be ideal.....even preferred. However, at this time I don't think a face to face talk would go over well. I think she still has a lot of anger a few millimeters below the surface and it would turn into "attack and defend". I think that AFTER I can sit and write out everything in a meaningful, heartfelt manner it may calm the waters enough to make a conversation about "us" more of a reality. I would view this as an opening salvo, really.
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE that has been so complimentary, kind and encouraging in your words. This is the fight of my life so far, though I know others have endured worse (cancer, death of a loved one, etc.).
These last four months has opened my eyes so wide about what truly matters and who truly matters. I can see that I wasn't a BAD or abusive husband - I was just very, very, VERY poorly equipped to emotionally support a wife or child. I had no idea how joyful the life I was living was. Nor did I have any idea how joyless I was making my w's life. She and my son are my whole world and I hope to get us all back together soon.
Thank you again everyone - campy as this may sound, I would not be doing was well without you. Especially you, 25. You are amazing.
