Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

Thanks for the concern everyone. I definitely have my guard up. I was driving back from the auto show in Detroit last night and had a long talk with a fellow divorced friend.

We talked about DHU-41 and how really I like this situation. I have all of my other side jobs, the kids and my regular job. I basically have one night a week to dedicate to someone else.

And that's all I really want to dedicate -- or at least that's how it feels with this lady.

I'm actually starting to feel guilty about that. I don't feel head over heels by any means. I don't know what's missing. Perhaps it's the time in my life. I'm not willing to put her ahead of my daughters.

She's not pushing me for more time by any means. I just feel guilty I guess that I don't want to spend more time with her.

Perhaps I'm just trained to expect less. I really tried to break through XW's shell and she kept me out, mentally, emotionally, physically.

DHU-41 saying she'll take whatever I have to give. That's just a weird feeling after 15 years of living the other way.

GM ... back to the night she got upset about my feelings over XW. What I think hurt her is I said that if XW showed up tomorrow and wanted to work things out ... because of my daughters ... I wouldn't slam the door in her face. I'd consider it.

I've thought over how I delivered the message because DHU-41 texted me this weekend saying what she heard was I'd go back to XW if she'd have me.

I think I have clarity on this subject now. I don't miss who XW turned out to be. I do miss my daughters tremendously. I hate the fact that I don't get to tuck them in 60 percent of the nights. I don't want XW back. I do want my girls with me every night. So if XW all of a sudden showed up saying she made a mistake and she wanted to start over -- it would be very hard for me to just say no without thinking about it because I would be saying no to having my girls again every day.

Updates on other stuff. One more meeting with the pretty chiropractor and I'm going to wrap it up. The headaches have gone away. The neck issues have -- mostly -- gone away. Everything else is fine.

It's time to get the settlement process going because I need some clarity on whether I'll be able to avoid bankruptcy on XW's credit card debt.

Money situation is .... OK. I need to be more vigilant on spending. Christmas always gets me out of whack.

Main job is ... I'm bored with it. But I'm not going anywhere soon. Maybe I just need something to complain about.

I'm about 10 pounds heavier than I want, but I'm having trouble finding any more time to work out than I have now with everything else going on.

February is going to be an interesting month. I went by a Valentine's Day billboard and thought to myself ... hey, what am I supposed to do for DHU-41 for Valentine's Day?

On Feb. 25, D12 becomes D13. Wow.