When the bomb dropped my W was in such a fragmented and panicky mindset due to the explosion into a full blown life crisis that she was talking suicide, and acting like she would do it.
Last night I got home from yoga around 10 PM and she wasn't home but had said she would be. My youngest said he had heard from her earlier in the day but it was weird that she hadn't showed up. Normally, I would would just think she got caught up somewhere in her job which is in the alzheimer's field and somtimes there's on-call sitches. But because of this year's post bomb history and the previous suicidal period I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.
In the end she called and sure enough she was in a work related sitch. I guess I'm telling this because I think we should all expect the effects of these WAS sitches to go on for quite some time, and will require our new found strengths to run with it.
And like you I wish more DB'ers would post their successes. From my perspective it's as important for others to see that, as well as for me to hear their input on it just as it was when things were god awful. I'd love to hear more of how people came to terms with this and evolved and hopefully R.
I'll jump on that bandwagon. I'm sure that once a lot of people succeed, they're investing more time in their renewed marriage and not posting here as much and if they are it's probably in the 'piecing' subforum. That's why I'm so grateful for folks like 25mlc and bustorama for hanging out here with all of us.
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
In regards to the suicide issue. There was a poster not too long ago whose WAS did commit suicide. Word of warning to everyone. If your WAS seems to get into a pattern of intense depression, don't "go dark". Get them the help they need. At that point, the issue goes beyond the M. You'll be grateful for it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Lol! Heck we haven't had time for our FIRST so if you get your second I'm taking it as a good omen!!
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
Funny how the little things matter so much. Tonight my W, my youngest and myself were getting ready to go out and there's a large herd of 20 somethings in our living room.
Everyone is in good spirits and we are comparing heights and my wife who is standing in front of me is only 5'2" and I'm 6'4". Before I thought a out it I'm hugging her from behind and she's obviously warmly accepting it...in public no less. Seeing how that would have been impossible for the last nine months I definitely note this small step.
When we out for dinner my second oldest son and girlfriend unexpectedly showed up so it was a gun celebration.
I'm not letting the small moments get by me anymore. I'm detached yet willing to fully enjoy what good comes my way....and in every ditch I'm thinking how can I contribute to the good here. I used to think so differently....how is this good or bad for me....unknowingly such a selfish attitude in those days
Still taking it step by step...day by day Kolja...in fact that's what I need to do...make every moment count....how can I contribute to the world every day....accept the good moments with gratitude.
Would love to "remarry" my wife if the M gods see it that way... either way I have been blessed with so much
