Most Likely Youngster Goes His Way (& W Goes Hers)

[westcoastfella]

I will reply to you guys in broken-down posts, as I like to keep things short & sweet.

That discomfort is actually making her deal with what she's done in a way that she never would have done if you'd just indulged her "best friends forever" fantasy. And the fact that she can't understand or respect the fact that you have this (entirely reasonable) boundary - says something about her selfishness.

I think that's what's at play here. OM, while fun for a while, could only fill that missing 20%, and now she's feeling the missing 80%. Otherwise, why bother being so desperate to keep me in her life? I thought afterwards: where was OM while we were having this big, long conversation? He was definitely not in the background or else I would have heard him.

Although - I will say, there's an old trick that often is enlightening. Take a statement of hers, replace all the "you"s with "I"s - and you often can hear what they are REALLY thinking.

This is interesting! Does this have a basis in psychology literature, or is it really just a trick? The "improved" quote that you posted definitely sounds quite different.