Our story

[kolja]

UPDATE- Today we had some contact, again about money (the check from the rental property in Nevada is a little slow in getting here this month. I used the suggestion Chuck gave me, draw her out on where her support demand came from. She said it was based on the fact she hadn't worked in a year, would be starting from zero and initially not paid very much. To make sure I understood it, I relayed it back "so it's based pretty much on what you think you'll need?" and she said "yeah I guess." So I said I understood and would think about what she told me and get back to her. It was by and large much less confrontational than the one last week.

So, that's a small positive, and Michele says not to ignore those.

On the other hand, she says she wants to get it done the sooner the better because she possibly has a job, but it's out of state. She didn't say what or where, and I knew better than to press - I just wished her luck with it. When she said it would be tough starting out on her own and not earning anywhere near what she was making and living on her own. I said I knew it would be hard for her and I was sorry for that (I was TRYING to go for being supportive AND acknowleging my role in the breakdown of the marriage but now that I think about it, just saying "...and I'm sorry for that" may have been too vague to convey what I was trying to).

It took a bit of wind out of my sails, hearing about the out-of-state job. But I took a few deep breaths, reminded myself it's out of my control, had nothing to do with improving ME, and doesn't NECESARRILY preclude a rapproachment down the road.