I had my S last weekend. Friday night we went out to dinner (nothing extravagant, it was just Wendy's) and just hung out and played Wii for awhile.
My W texted me on Saturday morning. She was asking if it was OK to pick up some extra paint that she wanted to use for her new apartment she's moving to. I was asleep. She showed up anyway and picked up the paint. I was ticked off about that one for ahwile. I guess she assumed it was OK. (It was OK, but I didn't like her approach) If we go all the way to D, it isn't going to work like that. I mulled it over and ultimately I decided to file that incident and not react to it. I decided not to choose that battle right now. There's bigger fish to fry. I was also a little disappointed in myself because I was asleep when she texted and was in bed when she came to the house.
Saturday turned out to be a busy day. I managed to get in a short 8.6 mi. bike ride in the early afternoon. A buddy from my Men's group came over late in the afternoon with his W and we watched the first half of the Bengals game. We then proceeded to go to a Community group together (from our church). It was cool. I already knew some of the people there from church and I made some new friends. I'm still pretty excited about meeting even some more new people. Saturday night my S had a buddy of his spend the night.
Sunday I rounded up the boys and went to church. It was another good service. I enjoyed saying hello and talking to both old and new friends on the way in and out, too. It did cross my mind that if my W and I were to ever work things out, I would have a lot of new people to introduce her to. I had a meeting for the upcoming Belize mission trip immediately after church. My S and I went out to eat after that.
I had a business trip on Monday, so my W and I made some alternate arrangements for my S. Normally he would be with me on Sunday and Monday night. Instead he was with my W on those two nights. I had offered to take him to my W's apartment on Sunday night. However, my W texted my S and said she was going to go out to eat and asked him if Dad would like to come along. I accepted the indirect invitiation. TBH though, I really didn't feel like it. I was a little flat when we were out to dinner. I wasn't quite my new self. I think I figured out I was just stressed because I still needed to prepare for my trip the next day and I wanted to get a ride in. I also had this feeling that there's no way at all that I want to go back to what we had. I really like this new life I'm building for myself. I need some more time gather more momentum that way.
I did manage to get in a ride on Sunday night - 8.6 mi. with the temperatures in the middle 30s.
Monday there was no exercise. I was on the road all day. I had to go up to Michigan for a meeting that turned out to be a little less than 2 hours long. I was able to get home in time to actually sit down and watch the last half of the Tide rolling over LSU.
Tuesday morning I was able to get in another short ride - 8.6 mi. in a frigid 31 degrees. The rest of the morning before work was just a comedy of errors. I was lucky I didn't get lost driving to my office. I was able to shake it off an rebound. Last night was my Healing Relationships group, a.k.a. Ladies' group. We had another good group meeting. I had pre-arranged to pick up my S at my W's apartment. It was her night, but we had made some alternate arrangements for the evening. I picked up my S at my W's apartment last night. It was a better than average interactions. I was probably there about 30 minutes. She packing up her apartment because she's moving this weekend. I start stringing together some pleasant interactions and going out to eat with my W and S and it starts to shake my ambivalence I've been feeling - toward her. Maybe I need to start a fight. I've been doing this too long now to mistake these events as more than small positives.
This morning it was 37 degrees and rainy. I opted for a 3 mile run.
I think the ambivalence is contuing to some extent. However, I have been feeling a little conflicted recently. I am just praying for guidance and wisdom right now.
She showed up anyway and picked up the paint. I was ticked off 
about that one for ahwile. I guess she assumed it was OK. (It was OK, but I didn't like her approach) If we go all the way to D, it isn't going to work like that. I mulled it over and ultimately I decided to file that incident and not react to it. I decided not to choose that battle right now. There's bigger fish to fry. I was also a little disappointed in myself because I was asleep when she texted and was in bed when she came to the house.
I already knew some of the people there from church and I made some new friends. 
I'm still pretty excited about meeting even some more new people. Saturday night my S had a buddy of his spend the night.
I was lucky I didn't get lost driving to my office. I was able to shake it off an rebound. Last night was my Healing Relationships group, a.k.a. Ladies' group. We had another good group meeting. I had pre-arranged to pick up my S at my W's apartment. It was her night, but we had made some alternate arrangements for the evening. I picked up my S at my W's apartment last night. It was a better than average interactions. I was probably there about 30 minutes. She packing up her apartment because she's moving this weekend. I start stringing together some pleasant interactions and going out to eat with my W and S and it starts to shake my ambivalence I've been feeling - toward her. Maybe I need to start a fight. 
I've been doing this too long now to mistake these events as more than small positives.
