Update: W and I had a short conversation last night during which I backslid by asking W why she was Ding me if she says she is Ding the man I was and not the one she says has changed. She said we are S not M and the S is not a M and we have not been M since the S. She said she is not M to the new man. She said does not even know the new man. She said she would have to get to know him but did not want to stop the D process to do that or create any room to do it. She said she cannot take the risk and is upset that it took her filing for D to get my attention when she told me so many times over the years to shape up. She repeated that she gave the old man so many chances and she did not want to give the new man another chance even if he isn't the old man. She said if the new man had done what he is doing 6 or 12 months ago we would not be getting a D. She also said that she did not know if I would continue the changes. I told her my door is aways open. She thanked me for that.
We go to court for the temporary arrangements hearing at the end of the month. She is requesting the house and full custody of the kids. Not sure what will happen but based on her previous words to me, I believe she will be very upset if she does not get in court what she is requesting. I have no idea how the legal system works but my L tells me that the temporary arrangement is likely to be more balanced than W is requesting. I am not asking a legal question here but a DB question: if my W does not get what she wants at this hearing and is faced with the reality of the D process being more challenging than she thought and after that (assuming she does not blame me for being difficult) wants to discuss the R/M because reality and an idealized post-M new life are not the same, how do members of this forum think I should respond?
