Went to meet with the D lawyer today... that was rough. I feel like I'm accepting my fate and admitting defeat. But I know it's the responsible thing to do.
Purg, I am sorry you are experiencing the legal side of things. Recently I had the meeting that you describe with a L and found myself wondering if I shouldn't just let go and give up. It is a great challenge that is on going and each of us LBS has to answer his his/her own way. FWIW and IMO, at the beginning of the D process the WAS has an idealized impression of how the D process works: get out and move on with a new life. When the H and W begin going to court, paying Ls, dealing with new custody and living arrangements a new reality is created. It seems that the new reality can speak to the WAS in a powerful way: either, D is not the idealized thing I thought it would be and I should consider the possibility of giving the R/M another opportunity, or the person can accept the new reality (maybe even get mad at the other spouse for making the creation of the new life difficult) and continue to plough ahead with a D. For the LBS, it seems that you do not want your WAS to return because of housing/kid/money/legal issues but you do not want the person to continue to move forward with a D. It is so challenging. I feel for you. God speed.
