Truth is timeless and eternal. You're saying the truth and it's because that's where you are right now, it's real. She may or may not be there right now, but how can truth hurt?
I just think you shouldn't get bogged down in the DB fine print right now. She asked you to tell her where you are and what you have realized. Share it with her in a positive strong manner. Yes, she might reject it but the truth of what you say is still there nonetheless because you have become that man.
Just give her a gift of your your strengths and who you are nowadays. Like any gift, once you give it, it's their's to do what they will with it.
I think you would agonize for the rest of your days if you didn't take the opportunity here to answer her request.
BTW, I've heard all of these horrible rejections too, and worse. Remember that post by 25 from the WAW explaining to the guy about how she got to be a WAW and how she felt about her H's overtures about how he had changed? We've both lived it. I obviously don't know your wife but I just get the feeling that if you do this for her, and continue to be the strong, moral, evolved person you are she will at some point give some thought to this. In any outcome though you are obviously going to be a great father, citizen, and partner to someone who will be fortunate to be with you.
Also, BTW, I got all the Linda Blair hissing rejections too and I never thought my W would thaw, never could have imagined it, but it does happen eventually. Your strong enough to stick to your life plan and any further contact you have with your W means that's who she will be seeing. A guy only a fool would leave......
