They say that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.
Stop talking about your marriage to your H. Obviously, he will defend his choices. His choice is to leave the family. That is what makes him angry. The more you say things, the more it will drive him away. he does not want you to choose for him to stay for the family. he knows all the reasons why or why not. YOur trying to guilt him or force him into considering staying wwill just make him leave faster. Have your read the divorce remedy book? Everything is explained there. Did you know that actually letting go will bring him back more than hanging on?
Do not try to mind read, that is one of the number one rules here. Most probably you will be misinterpreting things either towards the negative, which will just make you angry and act it, or towards believing something positive, which will give you false hope and raise your expectations.
Stop trying to make sense of what he says or does. Focus on yourself. No amount of talking on your part can replace doing.
It is natural for everyone to be apprehensive about doing something like Retrouvaille. Please stop talking to him about it as well, just listen to what he has to say. You are also nervous, for your own reasons.
Stop even trying to convince him that he has to go with an open mind (I gather from your post that you did). let the process take over. They will ask you guys to have one. It is better to hear it from them than from you. Try to think of your husband as a rebellious teenager, and you as the mom. Anything you say will be taken as a negative. See, he already put barriers in his mind by saying he can't open his heart. If you never talked about it, he would not conscioussly put one. Now you are minus one weapon because he has already set it up.
I know its hard, but just trust me on this: zip your lips!
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
