Thanks for the great feedback, 67. This process has me so inside my head that sometimes what is obvious to an outsider is totally lost on me. You are correct about the personal wake up call, I have given my W control over my happiness. I find myself flip flopping between doing things I say are for me (but may really be for my W) and doing things I know are for me that help me GAL and do 180s. The same behavior often creates both responses in my head. Right now I feel awake and more confidence and stronger than I have in years. At the same time I feel so weak and insecure because the R/M is going through a D. I know I am not detached enough. I have to find a way to reach that place consistently. When my W leaves the house and I have the kids, I feel good about things but when she returns I am always tempted to engage her about the R/M (as if something I could say would get her to change her mind). You are also correct, I can see now that I am creating expectations that they are setting me up. I will take your insights to heart. Thank you very much. The process continues.
