I haven't really said it in so many words. We haven't talked anything about R since about the year 2000 (I kid :D) since probably May, on his bday when I sent an email that said I would give him the time he needed.
But yes, kolja, that's my dilemma. Maybe this is a 180 moment when I should do the opposite of what I'm feeling I should do.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
As you were posting, my w called. She called to tell me she had received the ins bill for our RV, which I asked for her to send to me, and also to tell me that one of our neighbors near our cabin had emailed her to tell her the light was on in the back.
Good conv, friendly, brought her up on news around our old neigborhood. In the time that she has been gone, I have initiated only one conv, the rest she has either emailed or called. They are almost all business related, but they are friendly.
Before she left, told her I did not want the D, disagreed with her decision, but would always be her friend. She said that was a big help.
At this point, I think it could be construed as pressuring for you to have the talk, he must know your feelings, continue to detach and be friendly.
What are you sensing in the tone of his email? Can you explain? Have a good day lady
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
I went back and read it again and I guess it's that he told me he was going to be out of town (for work), something he hasn't done before when he's gone oot. I'm mind reading which I need to stop and just get on with my life and be happy.
Thanks for the input, now it's off to work for me.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Hi Gunny hope you are doing the best you can. My divorce care group starts up January 30th will check it out. Hopefully it won't be as depressing as the last few I attended. How is your sleep? Going for a walk now it is pretty nice out there. Hang in there buddy. It can only get better from here on.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Gunny: How is it going? I am having a bit of personal turmoil as the date of signing the papers approaches, and the OM replaces me. Need to keep things in perspective....
Hope you are hanging in there.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
gunny, I hope you are doing well. I'm glad your conversations with your W are cordial and friendly. Just take that as a small positive. Continue to GAL and hang out with other people.
thanks everyone for posting, Nothng new going on, I will probably hear from my w in the next few days to tell me how our dogs operation went. Funny, never thought I would be saying this, but I actually would rather I didnt hear from her, I feel like I am at the stage of detachment where I'm starting to feel more in control of myself, much less depressed, very little anxiety, and sleeping better.
Reading the book "journey from abandonment to recovery" I think I am slowly getting into the acceptance stage, where I am becoming a little more balanced in my guilt feelings about the end of the m. I still take responsibility for my actions, but I am a little more cognizant of the fact that my w shared some responsibility also. People on this board have been telling me this for months, but it isnt until you can start believing it in your own mind that you really can begin to heal. I finally feel like I've made it over some hump, my IC told me the other day that she feels I have progressed enough to see her every other week, vice every week. Small progress, but I will definatley take it.
Compared to how I felt right after thanksgiving, I feel much better. Don't know if it is the meds, GALING, accupunture, or a combo of all of them, but I definately feel better, thank you all for your support along the way, and for those who are new and just starting out, know that I WILL EVENTUALLY GET BETTER!!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
started listening to an audiobook "The secret lives of wives" I believe it is. It deals with stories of wives who have been married anywhere from 10-70 years and their secrets for staying married. Very enlightening, so far, so good. Could be a good read/hear for those of us on this board!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
