I don't know about the "enabling" language. What you were doing is parenting W, fixing things for W, judging W, showing W she couldn't handle stuff on her own, etc... None of that good. W would have gotten lunch for S, homework may or may not have gotten done. You ASSume W can't handle it and take over. Not great.
Imagine you had an overly intrusive houseguest who was constantly fixing things behind you who had overstayed her welcome who then did the things you did this morning while you were trying to get the kids to school. How would you feel?
Divide up parenting duties. Give her space to parent as she wants BY HERSELF. On mornings it is her job to get the kids off to school, leave the house early so that you are not tempted to interfere and go into Mr. Fixit My Way mode. GET OUT OF THE WAY.
