WHG: Chasing that rabbit with the pocketwatch

[workinghardguy]

OT... this is what I still struggle with... figuring out what is "more space". So two instances from this morning, one I think clear and one muddy...

First, the clear one... W told kids she was going to put away the laundry today since the kids have a half-day of school so she wouldn't get a nap today anyway. Then, 15 seconds later she comes to me as I'm getting ready to leave and asks when I'll be home from work. Now... this is code... it's code for "I'd like you to come home early from work to watch the kids so I can take a nap." It's funny how communication patterns develop over years, but I know that's the code because otherwise she would've asked me if I was going to be home "normal time." Normally, on a day like today when I have an open afternoon, I would've come home early. I wouldn't have wanted to, but I would have. Today I told her I'd be home my normal time or a little later depending on work, and then I head straight to a Board meeting. She frowned and muttered "ok". I left for work. I think that was the right tack.

The muddier one is that shortly before I was to leave for work I ask my S if he has his lunchbox. S says no... long story short his lunch isn't even made and his lunchbox is still in my W's car from yesterday. He has to leave for school in 5 minutes and W is still getting the other two kids ready. Basically she forgot and isn't even aware of it yet. So I struggled with the right response... make his lunch? Tell W she forgot? Just let it go and let W figure it out when S freaks out? In the end I made his lunch. I was torn though... part of me felt that it's still part of my responsibility since we're still a parenting team and I really like making his lunch (it lets me sneak in something special and I always put in a little note which he loves). But part of me thought is it just enabling my W?

Then I realized that S's homework also hadn't been done or addressed, so we quickly sat down and read his book and filled out his paperwork. Again, this is something my W should have done last night but didn't, and the kids were in bed by the time I got home. Again... do I just let the homework go undone? The world doesn't end if a kindergartner's homework isn't done... but I struggle with leaving S hanging because mom didn't follow through (and neither did I... I could have checked his backpack when I got home last night at 9:30pm).

I found it quite ironic then that as my W was walking out the door with the kids to get them to school she says to me, "some day my life won't be this crazy in the morning and I can sleep in..." Really?