there is a fine line between self respect and false pride and wounded egos... and when anger comes into play it gets really blurry.
Be aware of what emotion seems to be driving you and if' anger is a big part of it, chances are it's NOT self respect but being mad and punitive...
when you are calm enough to come from a place of strength it's more likely to be self respect and boundary enforcement.
You need way more GAL b/c you don't have any...what you listed are some decent 180s and how you act AROUND HIM...
when I lived in the interior of Alaska and felt DOWN and cold and dark, here are some of the things I did and most cost little to nothing.
I auditioned for community theater and got roles, then better and bigger ones. Met cool new people.
I joined a writer's group.
Volunteered at a women's shelter and got on the Bd of Director's -helped my resume.
Learned to fly and got a pilot's license.
Went sky diving (in good weather, obviously).Very cool.
For my birthday in December...yikes...went mushing, which dog sledding...way cool but no one tells you that the dogs poop while they run and it flies right by your head...
Learned to hunt big game, went on a serious caribou hunt (yes I bagged one) and learned how to do serious fishing...yes I caught my limit!
Learned how to cross country ski and got back into downhill skiing.
Took a pottery class (weird for me but interesting and cool).
Did Stand up comedy.
Saw a shrink and tried some anti-depressants.
Used a tanning booth for sunlight (and risked the skin cancer..whatever)
worked out 3-4 times a week and got in GOOD shape.
Snow machined and got outside every day, which is saying a lot when you have a newborn and you live THERE....
joined the Officer's Wives club for the first time in 15 years and was damn glad to make GOOD friends who helped save my sanity.
Took a French conversation class AND a 6 week Italian culinary class.
Did NOT become an alcoholic, (that was PLAN B...)
So,
See if you can go dancing or take a class or join SOMETHING THIS MONTH...
I bet you can.
I am planning to join a gym once the doctor releases me. I had a hysterectomy 3 wks ago. So right now I am limited what I can do. When I don't have my D, I will go to the movies or even work on my crafts. I love to quilt and scrapbook. I go to school 3 nights a week. I wish I had time to do more, but I don't.
well I had pent up demand for GAL while living in the tundra...
as for the PLAN B, if you see the movie "Lovely Bones" -which is itself a reason to drink, and is mostly not a happy movie,
check out the one funny happy spot in the film- the drinking smoking partying grandmother, played by Susan Sarandon...
that would be ME "there but for the grace of God, would go I!!"
not that I look like her but if this and that were different, THEN yes...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
H called me while I was at school all stressed out. So I told him that I would gather my things and leave and call him back when I was on the road.
Called him back to only find out that the reason why he was stressed was because our D had 2 peepee accidents. And he was serious. I explained to him that she has only been potty trained for 3 months, what do you expect. Any way, he asked if I would come by on my way home to help put D to bed. And I did.
When I arrived she was waiting in her room for me. And happy to see me. When I entered the room, he gave me compliment how I looked, which surprised me. He told me that looked very pretty. I said thank you and sit down on the bed for her bed time story. I laid with her until she fell asleep.
Then H vented about his job, as usual. Don't miss that at all.
He walked me to my car and still venting. He gave me so called hug and a quick kiss on the lips.
After I got home, I texted him and told him that I wanted to let him know that I do not expect him to hug or kiss me if he didn't want too. But it did feel nice.
He replied back and said that he knew that and he likes keeping me guessing. He said that he had not brushed his teeth so did not want to give me a kiss. And I appreciate that! LOL
He said good night and that was it.
I pick my D up tonight, probably won't hear from H until she is returned, which is Monday after work. I am going to see if he helps me with her on my weekend like I help him on his weekend. Time will tell.
For the past couple of days, I have been feeling weird on the inside. I can't explain it. My panic attacks came back today.
I miss my husband very much. I try not to think about him, but it is so hard.
When we are together, I feel like he is taking baby steps back to us. I wish the steps were a little bigger. I know I need to be patient with all this. I trying to keep myself busy. I wish my needs were getting met. I am sure his is.
I was wondering the same thing, if I should go dark. I have my D for the next 5 days, if he makes any contact, should I avoid them, unless they are in an emergency?
I feel like if I go dark now, since I have D for the next 5 days, that will be giving him what he wants. But if I go dark/dim when he has our D, wouldn't that have more of affect on him?
I agree with luvless. He cant miss you if you are always at his beck and call. Next time he asks you to drop by, ay no, that you have plans. Dont listen to him vent about work. Dont respond to non-important texts or calls and respond late to important ones. You can go dark with your D.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
