Too Little, Too late. 2

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Re: Too Little, Too late. 2 nhmom #2211843 01/11/12 03:50 AM
Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 825 Virginia P purgatory OP Member
OP purgatory Member P Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 825 Virginia	Journal: I'm glad that we still go to MC sessions, but they are emotionally and mentally exhausting!! My H and I use our MC as a sounding board for ideas and/or to keep ourselves focused on our goals. We talked about H moving out in 2 weeks and the expectations for 'kid time'. I expressed that I didn't want to be taken advantage of and that I also didn't want to keep H from the kids at all (I wanted H to really hear that statement.) I did most of the taking, H listened and C asked a few probing questions. We came to the conclusion, that without too many other options at the moment, wee need to go forward with our plan and check-in after a few weeks to see how it's working. I actually feel ok with this simply because I expressed my concerns, and H heard them. Whether or not it changes his behavior, is on him. We talked about telling S5 and came up with a plan, or actually no plan. S5 hasn't been traumatized my our current sitch, or even when H moved out in August... so we are going to let S5 set the pace. If he brings up a concern, we will address it- together. But until then, we are staying focused on keeping the kids as the focus, which means that H and I are the ones to make the sacrifices... and we are both ok with that. It's really hard to listen to H make such definitive statements, such as: "We'll have to explain the D when I get back [from Afg.]." It reminds me that he can see us still in this same sitch even a year and a half from now... that's upsetting. "I miss our talks and I really want us to have our friendship back, but I don't want to give you any false hope that we can have an R again... so I don't try to be your friend now." Wow, you could have knocked me over with a feather! It felt the air has been sucked out of my lungs. I guess he thinks that he's doing the 'honorable' thing by not leading me one... but really?? Our C said that we have come a long way in our communication skills, and I made the comment: "Yep. This is new for us, only within the last 6 months" (I glanced at H and he was looking at me and nodding. C also joked that she could probably leave the office and we would be fine and stay on track with our talks- basically telling us that we are doing good. I've often gotten the impression that our C thinks that we will turn this around- but of course she can never say that. She made the comment that she was "surprised" when we told her about the bomb. Today, while we talking about the arrangements when he gets back, she said: "well, there will be some changes, or you guys could be on a completely different path." It's nice to know that she's pro-M I don't feel that we made huge leaps and bounds today. I am happy that my feelings were heard by H. I can only hope that the combination of my setting boundaries, him getting his space (and hopefully coming to miss me), and my DB efforts will lead to a change somewhere in our future. Other interesting updates: * I don't have sleep apnea This is good and bad b/c they still don't have a trigger for my heart/lung stress. I have 5 more procedures on Friday that will hopefully point to a cause and/or solution, if not... then I have to have 'exploratory heart/lung surgery'.... that does not sound fun. * H is staying at his new place tonight. Not officially moving in, but he wanted to have a sit down with both his friend and his W about expectations/ arrangements... how kind of him to check with the W that she's on board with everything. He told me tonight: "I need to talk to [friend's W] and since it's so late, I'll just crash there since there's nothing stopping me. I'll come home after work for S5's b-day stuff" and in the same breath, he said: "I know it's last minute, if you don't want me to go, I won't." What does that mean?! I said: [color:#CC33CC]"I appreciate the courtesy of asking me, but I don't think anything I say would stop you."[/color] He grinned. On a lighter note, H and I were talking across our breakfast bar. He continued talking while walking around it to come to the sink next to me.... he stopped mid-sentence when he got around the corner (where he could see my butt leaning over the counter) and never finished his thought, lol! I know that he's noticed my weight loss and more flattering clothes (b/c he told his brother) but he won't ever say anything to me. It just made me feel good that he checked me out and it was enough to distract him from his thoughts M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12

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Subject	Posted By	Posted
Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	12/31/11 10:04 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	dbmod	12/31/11 10:35 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 03:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/02/12 03:59 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 04:17 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/02/12 11:01 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/02/12 02:07 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/02/12 02:10 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	workinghardguy	01/02/12 02:25 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 06:24 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	sunshine76	01/02/12 07:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 03:57 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	workinghardguy	01/04/12 04:10 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/04/12 04:11 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/04/12 04:47 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 05:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	sunshine76	01/04/12 07:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/04/12 09:38 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 03:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 03:39 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	sunshine76	01/04/12 04:23 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/05/12 02:59 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/05/12 03:53 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/05/12 04:07 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 03:28 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/06/12 06:46 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Oneeleven	01/06/12 01:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 06:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/06/12 06:32 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/06/12 08:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Oneeleven	01/06/12 06:40 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 06:53 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	stillhopin	01/06/12 08:16 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 09:22 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/07/12 03:10 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/07/12 03:30 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Nblost	01/07/12 03:37 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/07/12 02:59 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/07/12 03:50 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/07/12 04:27 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	adinva	01/07/12 05:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/07/12 05:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Rick1963	01/07/12 07:16 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/07/12 09:32 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/07/12 09:51 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/07/12 11:22 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/08/12 01:33 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/08/12 02:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/08/12 04:08 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/08/12 04:45 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Hopeful321	01/08/12 06:27 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/08/12 07:55 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/09/12 03:40 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/09/12 08:55 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/09/12 05:34 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/10/12 01:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	MrBond	01/10/12 02:21 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/10/12 02:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/10/12 02:53 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/10/12 05:34 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/10/12 09:14 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 03:50 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/11/12 04:09 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	2thepoint	01/11/12 04:10 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 04:19 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	PERSEVERANCE	01/11/12 09:30 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 05:40 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	JamesG	01/11/12 06:00 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/11/12 06:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 08:47 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/11/12 08:57 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	workinghardguy	01/11/12 09:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/11/12 09:57 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/11/12 10:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	JamesG	01/11/12 10:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/12/12 02:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/12/12 02:30 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/12/12 04:29 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/12/12 05:16 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/12/12 05:37 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/12/12 06:26 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/13/12 05:16 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/13/12 05:56 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/13/12 12:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/13/12 10:57 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/14/12 12:28 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/14/12 02:44 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/15/12 05:39 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/15/12 06:19 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/15/12 10:15 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	25yearsmlc	01/16/12 02:14 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/16/12 02:38 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/16/12 03:06 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	25yearsmlc	01/16/12 01:25 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/11/12 04:11 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 04:27 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/11/12 07:50 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	stillhopin	01/09/12 08:55 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/08/12 12:43 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	25yearsmlc	01/16/12 01:13 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/16/12 01:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 04:14 AM

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