Well fellow DBs I must be doing EVERYTHING wrong. H is gone and hasn't looked back....yet. Not even a peak. I havn't iniated any contact, I have lost weight (27 lbs), gone through FPU (finance class at church), got a full time job with a 5% raise, found child care by myself, and started making time for friends. I have tried to be nice, understanding, and neutral with my now xh but nothing has worked. As soon as he signed the big D papers he started having second thoughts. Not about us or coming home but about the financial reprecousions. He is like a child kicking and screaming. He send me nasty texts bullying me telling me to let him out of paying spousal maintance. I kept putting him off saying I would think about it, let me talk to my lawyer, I'm not sure, etc.. Finaly after speaking with my lawyer who was confident that the judge would uphold the agreement, I told him no. I wasn't volunteering to change the agreement on my own. If he wanted it changed he would have to go to court to do it. I told him that I was a different girl now and that I was going to stand up for myself. I told hi that he has made it very clear with his words and actions that he didn't care for me or about me anymore and that I had to do what was best for me and our son. He didn't like that. He said if i didn't give in he would try to change the custody arangment. (i have sole custody) He is trying to use custody of our kid as leverage. Sick!!!!! I wanted to give in so badly but didn't. I stood up to him. I hope I made the right decision. I want him to respect me. To understand that my no's mean no and yes's mean yes. He thinks he can bully his way. I just pray that this dosnt push him away for good. He has sooo much anger towards me. He blames me for all his financial problems. I told him tonight that he needs to stop blaming me for those issues. He said he can't stand me and cant live with me that I drive him crazy. Ouch. I said you could have talked to me about it and he said I'm not talking to you about anything. He is just like a little kid. I wish he would be the guy i married and had a baby with. I can see the goodness in him...deep down. I want him to be a man of his word and start living that way. blahhhh this [censored]!!!! Hope i didnt [censored] every thing up