What exactly can I do about this? Going dark doesn't seem to be the answer. People say detach, I feel I AM detached as much detached as I am going to get.
CO, I think you may be thinking about this wrong...
Detaching isn't a physical thing. Detaching is a state of mind, that takes a lot of thought stopping, and even more focusing on the things you CAN change.
Detaching is a peace , that you are doing the things you meed to do, not to induce a reaction, rather regardless of the reaction...
Because it is the right thing to do...
It is when you stop wondering what magic thing you can say or do to get her to change her mind. It is when you can step back and think with your head instead of your heart, and stop giving in to the emotion that we all have lived with throughout the first months of the bomb.
It is where the DB rubber meets the road, and you GAL, and start working toward your goals.
It is when you start looking in the mirror at yourself, accepting your role in the breakdown of the marriage, and working toward bettering yourself. REGARDLESS of how she sees it..
It is about making good, rational decisions, and stop making those decisions out of fear, and regret...
It is about forgiving yourself, and making changes so that you don't find yourself here again in a few years, wondering what the hell happened...again....
Going dark , sometimes, is the best path to get there...
Going dark protects you from the irrational, batt-schidt , crazy stuff around you, to allow yourself TIME to detach....
You have a great list of things you have stopped, and things you want to do...
