I am dreading this dating thing. Perhaps, that's why I've stood for so long. I don't think I'm going to go on any dating sites. Y'all are so brave to do so. I'm going to just live my life, and if someone turns up, and I like him, then we'll see.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I have been very unsuccessful in the dating thing. I need to take a closer look at me, I guess. Keep attracting men who seem to want a relationship, but then don't really. Huh? Need to expolore that a bit more. I CRAVE companionship, romance, love again, but I'm starting to become more pessimistic about ever finding it. The online thing takes so much time and you never know how the other person perceives your words. Yuck! I'm waiting for a magic light to shine on me and tell me what's next in the love dept. for me!
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Well, I decided to send Rambo lady an email. I just felt we'd made a personal connection, emailed for a few days, talked on the phone for 40 minutes and honestly shared a bit with each other about our lives. I just felt I wanted to acknowledge that and wish her well. I do what I think is right whether the other party does or not. She just texted me 30 seconds later "Whatis, sorry I can't read your email right now, I'm working" Uh, OK...whatever. I also just received an email from a lady who told me how much she loved quotations too and gave me one. Wow, seemed nice, then I look at where emailing from...Barbados...WTH? yeah, lets meet for coffee...if I'm not there start without me!
Rambo lady emailed me and said "I just want to talk on the phone more first, not rush things" so I replied "You're a Filipina, of course you want to go slow lol! I understand that, I just assumed that when you didn't phone me about the weekend that you weren't interested. Are you seriously interested in getting to know me? If so tell me your plan. I'm not a Filipino and the go slow thing is a learning process for me. Teach me...I'm a fast learner lol" I just don't want to end up some lady's phone buddy cuz she has nothing else to do. I also know her culture says go slow, make the guy work for it and play a bit hard to get. Well see. If I'm uncomfortable, I'll cut her loose real fast.
...and just for the record, I have another lady on the hook and if she wants to have coffee, I'm still going for it! As always, we'll see...but the one who lives in the Barbados, just can't see that happening! lol.
Yes, Wii, definitely don't get stuck waiting for one person - go ahead and meet anyone who seems interesting. I've made that mistake before - putting all my eggs in one basket. No need to do that right now.
I texted Rambo lady this morning "hav a nice day", I thought she would probably like that little bit of attention to start her day. She certainly wants to feel that the man is serious and interested and not looking for a quick whatever, just like Bookkeeper was. She replied "Thank U U too take care" So, if I have time tonight I'll give her a phone call and we'll chat...again. I also have to clean out my cupboards tonight as I'm getting new ones put in on Friday. Tomorrow is D17's BD and she will be 18! We'll be taking her out for dinner. She's also applying to Universities for next year, she wanted to add two more choices...both six hours away from home, I said uh uh. So she picked two closer to home. I told her that University is a big change and to live so far away from home is an even bigger stress. I told her it's not all about who has the best academics, it's about finding the fit that is best for all her needs. She's never been away from home, never had a job etc. Our hope is that she will get something in the city and if she wants to live in residence for the first year and try it out, no problem...but six hours away from home, Daddy ain't ready for that! I told her how much I love her and I want to be there for her if she ever needs anything. If she's six hours away I can't be. So, life goes on. My baby going to university...OMG!
You are lucky to live in a city with excellent universities but it is not good to protect and control your daughter's life too much. By 18 she should have had a job by now and be learning more about the world and contributing to her own education.
My niece is exactly the same age as my daughter (23). Her parents to this day take care of her every need. She never had a job until a couple of months ago and only works app one day a week now.
My daughter had a small job at age 12 and has worked a couple of days a week since then - currently she has worked fulltime for the past 2 years even while commuting to school in Toronto for over a year.
Niece went to university away from home for 4 years but never learned to do anything. She did not go out. Did not learn to drive or to cook for herself. Her mom would go and get her every time she needed something. She was pampered and babied. Then she went to teacher's college in Scotland (her grades would not get her into an Ontario college). Guess what? She got so homesick that 3/4 of the way through - she insisted on coming home. And daddy flew over and got her! This girl has never had a date. Has no real friends outside of church.
Daughter lived at home but as I was gone for months at a time - looked after everything. Including her disabled brother. Cooked, cleaned - ran the household. She has lots of friends. Has had several boyfriends and when I moved last year - got her own apt and manages just fine.
I'm just saying that we give our kids wings but then we have to let them fly. The school should be decided on the career plans of the individual.
Josh was 17 when he left for university. He lived in Montreal and could have gone to McGill but he got a better education at an Ivy League school so although he was so young (Dec baby) - he went to Cornell and even worked there to help with his expenses. But he loved it and he thrived there.
So keep your options open. It is great that she has so many. But 6 hours away is nothing. One of my best friends sends her girls to Western while she lives in British Columbia.
I second Barb. College freshman are generally 18, and generally living away from home for the first time. She'll be fine. Not really your place to make that important decision for your adult DD.
Thanks Barb and OT. I called Rambo lady tonight and there was no answer so I left a message. She texted me right back saying she was still at work and having a problem with one of her clients. I replied that I hoped all went well and I would call her another day. She replied "Thank you and goodnight". Yesterday she texted me at work to tell me that she couldn't read the email I just sent her right away. This lady is so good about responding. Even when she's in the middle of a work issue she took time to text me and let me know why she couldn't talk and then texts me again to thank me and say goodnight. Maybe I'll text her in the morning just to say something like "I hope everything went well last night. Have a great day" Anyway, she seems like such a nice lady and I do like people who respond, it shows respect!
