She hasn't filed anything yet, right? So you have time to keep DB.
And, as some folks on the boards found out, it's not over once the D is done either. It's not over until you say its over. Some time down the road, you may come to that decision, but in the mean time your W has made peace with her decision. You have to find peace too.
In your earlier posts, you asked a lot of questions about whether or not DB works. It is definately counter-intuitive, but in a sense, you're trying to get yourself back to the place you when you met your W so you can start over. Back then, you didn't even know that you would fall in love with her. You could act naturally.
GAL puts you back in that place. It serves as an opportunity for you to be you again, so regardless of the outcome, you've got yourself back. It also gives your W an opportunity to remember what you're really like.
LRT is last resort technique. IMHO, people kinda jump to that a bit too quickly. Going dark (LRT... no contact) can be useful. But there are other shades. I find that unless there's unresolvable hostility, it's better to go gray.
Originally Posted By: Grmpy_Mnky
Got an email from the wife telling me she "has made peace with her decision to divorce".
Is it over? is it time to grow a pair and accept that she is not coming back? I'm feeling lost and desperate....
You don't have to agree with her decision. You don't have to support her decision. But actively opposing her decision will just make her more determined.
Like Forrest said:
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
There is nothing that says you have to help her with the process. Let her do it.
Hope this makes sense, Grmpy. It took a long time for your W to get into this state of mind. Its a long slow process for her to change her mind again.
