This experience really wakes you up in a very painful way.
Very well put, Rick, a "very painful way." Your timing is also impecible. Tonight, W had a frozen pizza (cooked) waiting for me when I got home from work. I thanked her energetically and she laughed and said it's nothing and then she went to the grocery store. When she came home I had the kids in the tub (something I didn't used to do). She gave me the look of surprise that she has given me many times since the S so I said I know I didn't help with the kids much in the past but I am now and I like it so I've got this. She said ok and walked away. About an hour later we end up having have a brief conversation during which the topic of pain comes up because a friend of our is in the hospital. During the conversation I backslide and say I'm using the pain of the S to live presently and to motivate me to become a better father and man. She replies, I'm past pain. Not much is said after that. I know it has been written that a LBS is to believe half of what the WAS says but my W's remark struck me as a marching order to herself: don't let yourself feel anything for him or you might want to consider the D. I don't know what's more painful, my W's remark or that I couldn't keep my mouth shut.
