I am currently unemployed, surviving on severance pay until I can get re-established in work. I don't own, just leasing right now -- so I'm not tied to a house, per se.
But moving is not an option, not yet at least, if at all. I need to try to stay in this county, if possible, where my oldest S (the one with Asperger's) has access to good services and other resources. I've reserved relocation as a last resort, but perhaps that's not as far off as I would like.
And yes, you've hit the nail on the head -- the ex just wants to exploit my situation to jockey for better custody terms. I could practically hear the gears turning in her head as she was trying to work our how this dilemma could be used to her best advantage.
Wonder, I agree about making sure my own needs are secured as well, but to me I cannot truly separate what is best for me from what is best from my S's. I cannot exactly jettison my children to further my own career, as the ex would suggest, as that would be totally self-defeating. Instead, I have to strike a balance that best serves what I need and what my kids need.
Hi, Karen!
I have been pondering how to make the long-commute work, and how to take advantage of the offer for a short-term solution, until I can find work closer to where I am now. A stop-gap measure, IOW. Even so, because I cannot relocate just yet even if I were wanting to, I would have to start out commuting the distance, which would at the very least put an end to Scouting for me. I am thus facing the relinquishing of my duties as a den leader, which is a promise broken to S7. There are other serious changes it would require as well. I know I'm only human, but failing my kids, yet again, becomes another painful prospect.
A somewhat side note: I still find myself, particularly in times like this, wishing things had been different between xW and I, that we hadn't become caught in the ensnaring webs of our failed M and the consequences of our broken family. Instead of having a cohesive, whole family and the flexibility to make potentially life-altering decisions impacting only my own household, I am hobbled by the legal and logistical impediments from contemptuous alienating parties that I have to share custody with.
Divorce stinks, in other words. (As if that's any big surprise, right?)
But grousing about that part of it is not helpful to the real matter at hand, of course. One should only deal with those things that actually are within their power to affect, and let everything else that they cannot change be as they may. And let the past be in the past. I just need to find the most optimal solution in the face of all these less-than-ideal factors worrying my uncertain mind. To that end, I am continuing to think and to reflect and to pray, opening my heart and mind to what God is really trying to say to me.
And I am truly thankful for all of your thoughts and prayers. Thanks and love to you all.
