DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 2)

[labug]

...lifelong habits we developed as protective reactions to our childhood traumas. ME

I really had so many fear based reactions, and one of the constant fears was that my W would not make choices that would be for the good of our families but would harm us. With that thought process leading the way I felt I needed to control so much, and my logic had to be right. What I couldn't do was slow down, listen to her, think in terms of how her emotions were right for her because that is where she was, accept and even embrace the differences. ME

someone who would meet things head on like it was the end of the world. Me

we are realizing that we are now able to talk through most issues together, give each other the peaceful place to share it, not feel threatened by each others reactions, and actually feel very much like a united front. What I want to be

All I can say is that time, self-honesty, and detaching do seem to change the environment for the better; and who knows where that will ultimately lead.

Thanks for sharing this, it really helps. I have made great strides and know that I would not be as far along if H had not dropped the bomb.