WHG: Chasing that rabbit with the pocketwatch

[workinghardguy]

So yes, today has been one of my strongest days in a long time. It's made me realize how terrified I was of telling the kids and hurting them. With that milepost in the rearview mirror I feel DBing to be much easier. It also makes me realize how badly I was DBing in the last month or so as I acted out of fear. Not an excuse, just an observation that may benefit others... we all know that most of this stuff is counter-intuitive. And, at least for me, when you're scared, even terrified, doing things that are counter-intuitive is even harder than it normally is.

W texted me today and asked if I would be willing to pickup the mattress she bought since I have the larger vehicle and wouldn't get home until after they closed. I let it sit for a while... partly because I wanted to let it sit, and partly because I wasn't sure the right answer. Part of me wanted to tell her to figure it out. Part of me wanted to do it to show that I support her move to the basement, I want it to be successful, and I want her to have the space she wants. I will admit to taking a bit of perverse pleasure in her state of discomfort this morning, I also have no desire to have that be every day nor does it benefit any of us to have her physically miserable from sleeping on a deflating air mattress. So finally I decide to agree to pick it up on the way home.

Get home and it's a crazy night. SD has archery, S has wrestling, SS has archery later... W doesn't do well with nights like this and is stressing out. But we get the kids off to where they need to go... I take S to wrestling and W gets SD and SS off. We get dinner served and so on.

After we all get back home again W heads out to a friend's house to get some packing boxes. Ok. I check on the kids' homework and find out SD isn't done. She has math that she couldn't understand and neither could my W. While we're finishing the math W comes home. SD shows her that the math is done. W comments, "SD, I don't what we'll do with [me], mom is just not good with math." I look at SD and tell her, "don't worry SD, you can always call me, stop over, or we can webcam and figure it out. I won't leave ya hanging with your math." She smiles and we get them off to bed.

Tonight I went for a 2.5 mile run it was so beautiful out tonight. It was great to get out for a run again... it's been a while and the treadmill is down in the basement right now.

W has been different today. A lot of the stress is gone. Likely a by-product of telling the kids and of her moving to the basement and getting her space. She didn't go to her friend's house as she's done every other night she's had off of work. That's part of the reason for the run tonight... to keep giving her space.