Like Two Sparrows in a Hurricane (2)

[MAL]

Decision 3) Would I leave right after church or have an option to invest in our “new friendship or whatever you call it”?

After church we did the usual lingering and talking in the hallway with folks from church. I asked RC if he had anything fun planned for the day. He said he watched too much football the night before and didn’t do some things at the house he needed to do, and he would probably be working on that. He said he wasn’t sure what his mom was doing. I told him I was thinking about a walk or bike riding. (Maybe with OS. I knew that I needed to talk to OS because he had some college stuff going on, but either way I was hoping to get in some fresh air. And I was not going to share that detail with RC. I am trying my best to be mysterious, although I’m not very good at it.)

He said that his mom was having a tough time because his dad’s birthday was the day before, Saturday. (Just a reminder…he lost his dad last year.) I told RC that I forgot about it and meant to call Saturday and I was sorry about that. He told me that it was okay and thanks for thinking about it. He said that he was okay but his mom was having a tough time with it. I told him that I was thinking about taking her out for another girl’s night sometime in the next couple of weeks, but after she got through a church even that she is coordinating for this coming Friday night.

His mom came up to me and asked if I would play one of the roles in the little skit they were doing for church on Friday night. I said I would and she replied that she needed to copy it out of her book. RC suggested that she use the church copier. It took a few minutes but we got the keys (most things were locked up by then) and got into the room with the copier. She copied my section and then asked RC if he would help with one of the parts too. RC gave her a hard time about it, like he usually does, and gave in. I don’t know if he was planning to come to the event until that moment. She went ahead and copied his piece too.

As a result of that we all ended up walking out together. I knew RC would walk home like always and his mom would get in her car and drive home. We made our way into the parking lot and some other church members came out and were talking to us. One of the men joked and said that RC could probably beat his mom home even though he was walking because she was going to stop and talk some more. She did and we laughed about that some.

I thought RC would start walking home, but instead he asked his mom if she wanted to go out to lunch. They decided on a place. His mom started talking to the other people again, and RC asked me if I wanted to join them for lunch.

Yes, you know I accepted the offer. DUH. (SMILE)

Lunch was nice and full of a lot of conversation, no surprise there since we all love to talk. The holidays were tough on her and RC has mentioned that sometimes she drifts off and their conversation is minimal at times. So I know his mom needed someone besides RC to talk to for a change. It was good for her.

When we got back to the house I went in with the intention of using the restroom, chatting for a moment, and then leaving. But like the other times, that is not how it went. DUH again.

They sat down and asked me to sit for a little while. RC asked if I had seen the Civil War book his sister bought him for Christmas and he went to get it. I absolutely loved the book. Usually when RC talks about Civil War stuff, I get that glazed over look in my eyes. This time I enjoyed it. The book wasn’t too overwhelming. It was broken up into small bit-sized stories with pictures – very interesting. He had a few things he wanted to show me and I truly enjoyed myself. No kidding!!?? Between talking to his mom about some things, her serving a snack/drinks, and looking and talking about that book, a couple hours went by in no time at all. I really enjoyed myself.

He made a comment that it was probably all very boring to me. But I responded that this book was much different than the other stuff and I really liked it. I talked about how I do love history, but I can’t remember all the dates and details. And sometimes it’s overwhelming. His mom and I told him that his ability to remember all of that can be intimidating. There was one point when we were talking when he corrected one of the dates in the book (I confirmed it too, he was right about the typo). He is pretty intelligent – I won’t even try to compete with that.

His mom left to go up to the church and I started to say my goodbyes. Then RC did that thing that appears to be a delay tactic. I stood up and then instead of acknowledging I was leaving, he remembered that the cat hadn’t been let in for a little while. He let the cat in and fed him. Then we played with the cat and talked about him for a little while.

Twenty minutes later, I tried to leave again. I said that it was getting late and I know RC hadn’t had dinner yet. I said that I know he doesn’t like to eat late (watching his weight) and I have already taken up too much of his day. I knew he had planned other stuff. After all, I thought I was going for a walk or a bike ride. And I told him that I never intended to hang out there all day – my how time flies. Then RC said “I haven’t even checked the football scores today.” He walked into the family room and turned on the TV, and then he sat down.

So again I followed his lead. I went into the family room, but never sat down. We watched the last few minutes of the Denver/Pittsburg game, which went into overtime. Then we saw the awesome pass from Tebow that won the game. It was awesome! (I do like to watch sports but don’t get to do it much. Note to self: If a guy likes sports, spend time enjoying it with him more often, since I like it too. Hint: RC loves sports.)

His mom came back right after that, and I tried again to say goodbye and leave. I told them that I should have known better than to come inside after lunch, and I joked that it’s like I get sucked in and I’m being held hostage. He said that it is like a giant vortex. We all laughed.

I told his mom that we’d schedule a girl’s night soon and she said she’d like that (I love that woman.). I also said that we still need to get together with my two sons to exchange Christmas gifts. They all bought gifts for each other - like I said, friends, which hasn't changed yet. I gave her a hug in the kitchen and RC walked me to the door (it was 8:20 by that time). I hugged RC and started to walk out the door, assuming he’d just stay inside like he has been. But this time he walked out on the porch and stood there talking to me for another 20 minutes. And again, I let him take the lead. (I will learn how to manage this better eventually.)

Out of the blue RC said that he would be working out with his friend P on Monday night, and then he’d be at the Rec Center Tuesday. He said that we could lift weights together. (I remember thinking that I am glad he feels comfortable with me.) He mentioned some exercises I could do for my inner thighs (an area that I mentioned earlier as being one of my current focus areas). He tried to describe the exercises to me, but I wasn’t catching on. Then he gestured with his hand and said “Come here.” And he led me back inside the house so he could show me on the floor. I walked in and called into his mom in the kitchen….”I’m B-A-C-K! I swear it really is a giant vortex!” We all laughed. RC showed me the exercises and I said goodbye again right after (he gave me a long and hard hug that time).

I sent the usual text letting him know I got home okay and said have a good night. He responded “you too.”

I know I didn’t pursue RC yesterday. But I also didn’t put any distance between us. I had a great time and I have no doubt that he enjoyed it too. We are rebuilding some trust, which is a good thing.

There were a few times I caught myself thinking about whether or not we would be able to be friends like this if we were in real relationships with other people. I don’t think so. We might spend time together, but not the entire day.

I am smart enough to know I should not have any expectations and I know to keep moving forward. At the same time, yesterday was probably a good example of leaving my options open and building a place where we both feel safe.

I know I can’t always do that though. Next time (assuming there is a next time); I need to decide if I will decline lunch (if I have the courage to do that). Or maybe I need to make sure I have other plans so that when I do decline it won’t be a “white lie.”

And the onward journey continues…..