Like Two Sparrows in a Hurricane (2)

[MAL]

Hi everyone. I haven’t been around for several days, but mostly because I’ve been keeping busy and trying my best to move forward (with options, of course).

I’ve been getting in exercise (Rec Center, riding bike, or walking). I have church, Bible Study, and choir. I also went out with some friends on both Friday and Saturday night.

I will admit that I had some ‘stinkin thinkin” on Saturday which got me down a bit earlier in the day, but I kicked that to the curb later that day. Sometimes I reflect on past mistakes and wonder if I’m ever going to be able to have a normal relationship with someone, and when I do that, it gets me down. I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but sometimes I am. Sometimes it seems like the scars from my divorce will always be there.

I thought about things in me I still need to work on, which are definitely true. And I made some commitments to myself to work on them. But then I turned it around and tried to focus on what I do have that is good. I know that are many things about me that would be valued in a relationship with someone. When I do that I feel more empowered and hopeful about God’s plans for the future. If I can get that to even out, I will be in a much better place long term

One of the focuses is on my physical health (including losing some weight). Some of that is on hold pending the tests last week (will know the results on one tomorrow). By the way, I hit 25 pounds lost last week. Yay!

Another one of the big things I’ve been working on is spending time with friends and making new friends. I know that YS will be going to college soon, and I will be facing an empty nest. A relationship with a guy is not going to fulfill all my needs. There are some needs that only friends can fill.

Friday night I met some friends from high school who were here visiting from Hawaii. We met some other high school friends for drinks and then met up at another local place for some karaoke. I had a great time, lots of laughs and some singing. We closed the place down, so Friday night was a late night. And goodness -- I enjoyed sleeping in on Saturday!!

YS was with his dad over the weekend and I had a lot of time for me on Saturday. I did some things around the house (in between the “stinkin thinkin”) and then met a friend (and a bunch of her friends) to listen to a local band later that night. I didn’t stay out too late though since I had church in the morning. I got home in time to do a quick review of my Sunday School lesson for the next day and practice the song we were singing in choir.

I didn’t really have contact with RC over the weekend (until church on Sunday). We do play Scrabble on Facebook, but I don’t count that as real contact. It just says that we are friendly to one another. We did have a brief text exchange on Thursday and he said he wouldn’t be at the Rec Center that night. Keeping the commitment to myself, I still went and took advantage of the alone time by riding the bike and listening to my tunes. I can’t do that when he is with me. Having the alone time at the Rec Center works out well since I can have a variety of activities when I’m there. It also gives me an opportunity to do more cardio.

I did see RC at church on Sunday, as usual, but I prepared myself for it. I prayed (of course) and asked for some clarity if I was being lead in any way. Maybe I prayed wrong or something, because I definitely got what I asked for….maybe too much! I don’t know if I should kick myself or just be happy with what things are in this new friendship state.

I’ll come back and post about that.

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Happy Monday to ya!