You have been on this path once. Understand that when your W talked about reconciling, she did it when she felt needy. That's a roller coaster. Dont attach your feelings on them. Or you will regret them.
Grow stronger by yourself as a person. As a dad. Right now you are going through the hurt of losing a partner, friend etc. You need to get to a point where you are at peace with your issues and figure out a way to improve yourself. The rest will fall into place.
When my wife file for D last year, i was in the same boat emotionally as you. One year later when wife is talking about reconciling, I am now not too keen on it because i am happy now with where i am and i dont see any positive development in her. If the status quo does not change, no point getting back.
Accept what is and try to make your life happier and better. I know that right now lost of crazy thoughts will be running through the head. what about future, what about son's future, will be grow up okay etc. One suggestion i have is to give these thoughts a holiday for a while. I gave myself 1 year before i let all these crazy thoughts bother me. Lot of crazy stuff happened during this time. I let them all go. Now when i look back, none of the crazy looking stuff mattered. Giving yourself that time will lift an emotional burden you do not need right now.
good luck!
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
