Don't know if you're taking in what people are posting to you, but I'll give it another shot.
The reason why she's not moving and you're not moving is because of your expectations again and mindreading (which stems from your expectations). Sometimes it makes you come across as a strong personality, which isn't the best way to gain your W's trust. She has to feel that you're not going to throw things back in her face. You haven't, but I'm sure that's a vibe she feels since it comes across in your posts.
Case in point: "Well, we have our dinner last Friday and it was less then satisfactory. "
It wasn't satisfactory to YOU. Maybe it was to her. It could have been a very positive step forward until you pushed the R talk. See you had two choices at that point: 1) Enjoy the time you had alone together, or 2) Push the issue that she's been shy about. You chose the latter.
"She just wants to sit on the white picket fence forever and flip flop on things. "
No she doesn't. That's your interpretation.
IMHO, you just need to have fun with her. Get her to relax so she's not so guarded around you. It's obvious from what you've posted about her that she feels scared. If you want to save your M, you have to make he feel safe, which is the number one need of women from men.
Compassion and understanding might get you further than pushing. Maybe not as fast as you would like it to, but enough to get the ball rolling.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
